Falling

At the winter’s fire,

Elves and fairies in a ring,

Sits in a foggy cloud and stays for me,

Disguising what they are,

The bell invites and summons thee,

Thy tender eye, with thy bloody and invisible hand

Of sorriest fancies, those thoughts which should indeed

Lie in restless ecstasy in the torture of mind.

In double trust, thy is here,

‘bove wisdom, grace and fear

A borrower of night, thy must become,

Fountain of thy blood, laced in silver skin

The instruments of darkness, with honest trifles

Of deepest consequences,

Shall neither night or day,

Let a man forbid

For what he hath lost,

When the hurlyburly’s done,

Fair will be foul

And two truths will be told

Dwell in doubtful joy

Sleep shall be no more

Dead of nature and the curtain’d sleep

Virtues will drown the wind

And angels will plead with tears

Come what come may,

Thy good of day

Will drop and drowse

In a deed of dreadful note

Thy self will be thy enemy

And scarf up thy bones

The natural ruby of your cheeks

Will mock thy cold blood

For something wicked this way comes

And the heart must hide what the face doth know

I'm sorry if it got a bit confusing.. but it was actually King Duncan talking about Macbeth and his own murder at Macbeth's hand. As well, King Duncan in a way in this poem is foreshadowing Macbeth's downfall which I hope you saw? (It's more prominent in the last three stanzas as I tried to place more emphasis at the end. Because, when the poem said "in double trust, thy is here", this line signifies when Macbeth came to murder him. The lines after is the aftermath in a sense, or in my sense). I'm not sure if that's okay but I hoped you enjoy reading this.. somehow :)

Mono-logo Guy

Oh Agbala, does the village not sound so prosperous? These noises, the laughter, the cries. How I do wish to dearly join in. Is it not a joyful day today? The day after I saved Ezinma. I felt such.. joy knowing I had a part in saving her life. Yet I cannot stop this weariness, this bitterness inside me. Oh, night is steadily coming and the sun has been taking over by the moon. I feel the shivers coming closer and closer. My tracks are slowing and my skin seems to reflect the earth. This is the life I was fated to have. From the ends of this earth to the vast dip of the sky, these wrapped blankets of soil seem to reflect and cover me. My body is turning for you. But what is this bitterness I sense me. I know no contempt but it hurts. I just want to stop. I.. I .. I just want to be someone who can be free to join in and live. But I know. It is my fate to help those in need, to those that need help to fulfill their destiny. But I cannot help.. but feel jealousy and envy. Ah, my soul, my soul. My broken shell of a soul. The heavens have spoken and my will is taken. Your presence wraps itself around me and I know. This, my body, is but a tool for your messages. This bitterness is swallowing me and I cannot breathe for anymore. But I know and I understand. This is my fate, this is my destiny. This is the role I was meant to have. In this raging storm, and perhaps roaring sea somewhere, I am but a beacon. Yet I am lost. But I know, I must begin what I never ended. Because I know, wno matter where I am or how hurt I may ever feel, no matter how much bitterness is welled up in me or how much weariness I feel, I must carry on and continue my line of duty, because this, is where I belong.

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This was Chielo, talking to the Oracle. There are changes because I omitted some parts and added bits and pieces. As well, I used two pieces of different ideas that I wrote and spoke my monologue as so. Therefore, it is going to vary in places. =)

A Normal Man

My first image when someone says the word hero is a vast blue sky with puffy white clouds and a peaceful atmosphere. Then, in comes my dad wearing a superman suit which I can never imagine to the detail point of how my father can even fit in that suit. Nonetheless, it gives me an edge of humour when I think about heros. This type of thinking started when I used to have nightmares and was to the point of insomnia because I would not sleep for the fear of the images my mind produces when I fall asleep. To combat that, my father would tell me when I dream of such frightening nightmares, I should produce an image of him flying into the scary scene and perform "an act of awesomeness" to save me. Of course, as a child, I did scoff mentally, thinking of how in the world would I be able to control my dreams to make my father appear if I cannot even stop my nightmares; however, I never did tell him my opinion and let him believe I was a gullible girl. Nevertheless, that image has been on my mind since I was young and has never left my side. As such, a hero has become to me a person who is capable of mistakes yet still a man, or woman, trying every opportunity and using every angle to help or save another person in need. 

Okonkwo in my definition never quite made it to the top of the building. He never became a hero in my eyes; he was, instead, a perfectly normal man. I have said in my essay that he was a hero of his people yet a coward of his heart. While that may be true for the first few chapters of the book, it does not hold statement for the rest of the novel. Indeed, Okonkwo was a hero to his people for bringing power to their name, but in the end, he could not hold onto that status. He gave up his life for a change his society has adopted. This suicide has given me a thought of Okonkwo's hero status which was determined solely by his clan. He was declared a hero for bringing prestige to his clan's name yet the characteristics of a hero determined by me has yet been fulfilled. 

Okonkwo has never really done anything to help anyone except for his own gain which is usually to show that he is not weak like his father. For example, he did love Ikemefuna, but to him, the importance relied heavily on his name. Therefore, Okonkwo aided in the murder of Ikemefuna because he did not want to be weak. This is a man who is capable of making mistakes and someone who faced forked roads like all of us. This is what made him be viewed, to me, as a normal man who made his own decisions, whether right or wrong, and tried to continue living on despite everything. Even though Okonkwo did fail to grasp that rope of life, he chose the way to end himself and the reason why. May that reason be superficial or justified, Okonkwo has still been seen as a normal man with burdens and mistakes carried on his back in my eyes. Therefore, he is not a hero to me and probably never will be because he has shown me that his character is not fit for my definition of hero. As such, he will be remembered as a normal man, in my mind. 

The Misery of Being Him

In Kim Edwards' heart-breaking novel, The Memory Keeper's Daughter, there is one major conflict that causes the book to unravel its story. From the very start, we are introduced to Dr. David Henry who makes a mistake that leaves him to question himself for the rest of his life and the novel. It is very captivating in the way Edwards has captured the image of a broken man who is, in reality, a coward. Dr. Henry chooses to coldly disconnect his relationship with his newborn daughter and abandons her with Coraline, the nurse because she has Down Syndrome. His reason was to not be hurt once more when his daughter dies because of this disease. One of the ways he reason with himself is using the case of his sister who died at twelve because of an illness that caused her heart to defect, to harden his heart.

So, Dr. Henry, apathetically, sends his daughter away. Since then, this incident has always been on the mind of Dr. Henry. This begins the idea of man vs self. As the book progresses, Dr. Henry starts to question the actions he made that night he chose to send his daughter to an orphanage. He starts to doubt and pain comes through him. He cannot tell anyone and he must suffer alone for his mistake. And it is in this circumstance that the idea of man vs self begins to show itself. However, with all the doubt he is facing and the pain he starts to feel, it seems to not be enough for his burden. Outside components begin to trap him as well. One of the most painful reminders he must face everyday is his wife who is trying to bravely go on with life even after Dr. Henry had told her a lie. This lie, of course, was that fact that her daughter was dead which of course, the readers know it is not true. And it is this lie that leads to the downfall of Dr. Henry's perfect little family of happiness or really, his imagination of a perfect family.

I do not know of the ending but the further I read, the more tear-jerking and thought-provoking scenes come alive. It is this act of cowardice that changes the lives of everyone in the novel and it is the same act that I cannot digest properly in my mind. The more I read, the more conflicted I am. Kim Edwards brings this "man vs self" into life and David Henry's misery of committing this act gets through to the readers but it hurts my soul. It is in this that I congratulate Edwards for bringing a character of really, a normal, ordinary adult who in his deepest, darkest hours into this world. Plus, with this conflict, I am sure many of us can relate because many of us, including me, have, I'm sure, that have committed a mistake that changed our lives completely. Perhaps, it was good, yet perhaps, it could have been like David Henry who made this mistake destroy his life.

The World of White

Postcolonialism is a very difficult term to define as I find that there are many other meanings this term supports. This term could mean a "discourse concerning reaction to and the analysis of the cultural legacy of colonialism" (Ms. Henrickson), although the meaning of that confuses me. One definition I found that seems to be able to summarize what postcolonialism was from Ania Loomba et al. said: "[Postcolonialism is] the shifting and often interrelated forms of dominance and resistance; about the constitution of the colonial archive; about the interdependent play of race and class; about the significance of gender and sexuality; about the complex forms in which subjectivities are experienced and collectivities mobilized; about representation itself; and about the ethnographic translation of cultures" (1).
To me, that quote explains a lot about postcolonialism. This term is what I believe defined racism, sexism and the like. It is from this theory that grew the classes of good and evil, white and black, superiority and inferiority. Of course, feelings of superiority have been existing already when this term was invented but the whole matter behind postcolonialism emphasizes this distinct difference.
Postcolonialism is a bunch theories stacked together and is something that affects our culture and the world. It is the feelings of being different from what the World believes as of the elite and thus, being categorized as inferior.
Colonialism is the period when colonies were established, especially by the British Empire. And through this colonization, feelings of superiority erupted. The period after Colonialism was, indeed, postcolonialism or as scholars call "post-colonial". This period was, I found, the time where colonies try to find their legs and stand up on their own as in the case of India. However, besides my aforementioned explanation of postcolonialism, the term has also been used or identified as "Third World literature" (1). These pieces of literature described the conditions of third-world countries and exploit their differences from the culture the World considers as the standard, which, of course, is the culture of the English.
Through this exaltation of the English culture, any subject of different cultures were considered inferior. In such case, an example could be being different of skin colours such as an African. An African would be considered lowly and unworthy because he or she was black and not white. Another example would be the culture of the Chinese. We are considered barbaric because we eat everything from snakes to dogs to sharks. People or things different from the culture of the "Whites" are considered inferior because we or they are not part of the culture the World considers as the standard, the norm.


One prime example would be the advertisment from Amnesty International.

This picture shows of how the Chinese in this case are being degraded. Here, the Chinese are shown as barbaric people who have no remorse in killing another. We are shown as people who make life and death a game and we smile as we play this dangerous game. The caption also says that we have no human rights and the Chinese does not care about individuality and consider each other as humans. And as this advertisment was made from France/Europe and was made to gain public interest, I believe this degradation of the Chinese has certainly aroused my awareness in the fact that we of Chinese descent are being looked down upon because we chose not to be like the "Whites". Therefore, the World looks upon us as Barbarians. Thank you. I believe this ad just made it to my attention.

Of course, this picture may have just wanted to show that the organization needs support in gaining human rights; however, this picture sets a tone that arises in me a feeling of hatred, shows a monstrous immoral act that accuses the Chinese and lays down something I cannot accept. You may not accept my interpretation, but that is just what it is. It is the way I see it.

Oh, and if you need more postcolonialism evidence, I am sure the internet provides that and more. All anyone needs to do is search "black people" or any racist terms and I am certain, the worst results will come on the screen. After all, racism is quite common, don't you think?

Power, power, power ... problem-free!

Generations of people have loved and are still loving Hello Kitty today so why can't you? After all, so many people do love Hello Kitty and such evidence is displayed almost everywhere! Everywhere you go, you can say I have just seen a Hello Kitty item. Obviously then, this concludes that Hello Kitty is what everybody needs in their lives. Besides, Hello Kitty is so easy to love! Once you love Hello Kitty, you can be happy. Then if you are more happy, then everybody around you would be smiling. Of course, if everybody around is spreading the smiles, everyone will be affected by the love! Then they will start connecting more and be friends. After that, the whole world would be affected! Once the whole wide world is being happy, there would not be problems like wars or battles! Therefore, loving Hello Kitty can make everyone happy and problem free! Now, see here? Loving Hello Kitty can solve your problems and everyone else's too. So, loving Hello Kitty is obviously, the most obvious choice. Besides, whoever says that loving Hello Kitty is bad means they have no taste in life. Do you not see how much Hello Kitty items are sold every year? If so many people like Hello Kitty, then the people who don't is the ones who don't understand what it means to be a human. As well, Hello Kitty can help so many people! One Hello Kitty doll can make even a sick or disabled child happy. The colours that Hello Kitty wears are of brightness and happiness. For a child who has been discouraged to live his or her life, Hello Kitty can at least bore a little of the pain and allow for a moment of happiness. So, should you not buy a Hello Kitty to make yourself cheer up a little for your bad day? Anyways, you either love Hello Kitty or you don't. If you do, then obviously, you understand what it means to be cool and what it means to be happy. If you don't, then please try not kill yourself because you don't have happiness in your life.  

A Man

Kim Edwards’ novel, The Memory Keeper’s Daughter is a memorable piece of literature that describes a man’s and a woman’s decision and the consequences that they both must deal with. The book started to unravel its plot when a man, Dr. David Henry, made a choice of abandoning his child because she had Down syndrome, and a woman, who was Dr. Henry’s assistant named Caroline Gill, decided to raise the abandoned child. It seems like there are two main protagonists introduced in this book, but in my opinion, Doctor David Henry is the star of the show.

Throughout the book, it describes how the Henrys' have to deal with the decision Dr. Henry made and how Caroline lives with the child. Here, I think the main focus is the decision Dr. Henry made and therefore, I concluded that he is the main character since he is the one that made the choice that affected the people around him and his world.

Dr. David Henry is described as an “attentive [and] assessing” man who has a lean face and “brown hair with a reddish tinge” (Edwards 27). He is also mysteriously described by Caroline that “he was not distinguished, yet there was something in his stance, his manner – some quiet alertness, some quality of listening—that set him apart” (Edwards 27). Dr. Henry, as well, is secretive about his past and someone who keeps to himself, or so is my impression after reading a passage that explains how he does not ever make a reference to his past nor actually spend a lot of time with the people he works with; however he is presented to me as an elegant, passionate man who seems weary and old. Perhaps, it is his job as an orthopaedic surgeon that makes him seem tired in my impression throughout reading the chapters especially since he is bearing the decision of abandoning their child yet having to keep it as a secret from his wife.

Dr. David Henry conflicts with himself through the whole book with his decision to abandon his baby girl. Of course, since Caroline ‘adopted’ the child and sends pictures and letters back to him, his wife does find out. However, before all that, when the wife learns, after the birth, that her baby girl ‘died’, she does through a hard transition and this is where Dr. Henry has the worst stress. He has to face his wife every day and make her believe in the lie he made while feeling the guilt in his mind.

It was appalling and tear-jerking when I stumbled upon the scene where David makes his choice and it is right at the beginning. Even though I knew it was going to happen, I could not stomach the feeling I faced when reading this scene and I did not believe I could get through the book at all. But as I read, I understood David Henry was a normal man faced with pressure and despair who made a mistake that followed him all the way to his death.

His reason to abandon his daughter who had an illness was because he did not want to go through the heartache of losing her when she grows up. He experienced a similar problem with his sister who died at a tender age of twelve. David did not want himself nor his wife to face what, he believed to be inevitably a lost cause for his daughter. Therefore, he chose to calmly give his daughter away and hope she will live happily until her early end.

Dr. David Henry is a character I believe that is unique in his own way because he does not remind me of any character but of a parent. This situation I read about reminds me of the way parents try to support themselves yet at the same time, trying to give their children a sense of security that blocks away pain. Well, actually, I think I lied. He reminds me of Jodi Picoult’s My Sister’s Keeper. The mother in that book had created a ‘twin’ of sorts to save her daughter, in order to fulfill her selfish wish to keep her daughter alive and save herself the pain. Here, David Henry abandons his daughter because he selfishly doesn’t want to grieve for a child he believes that will die early. This is what makes me believe that David is a normal man. No human is perfect and the first person we want to protect is ourselves. Otherwise, I doubt we have a survival instinct at all. And here, Dr. Henry shows this selfish wish to not hurt himself, but ironically, he still suffers because of the choice he made. Thus, this is why, I believe, Dr. David Henry is just a man like the rest of us who will make mistakes and perhaps, we’ll be like him and grieve for the choice we made in our past.